Tuesday, July 31, 2007
ok, had my stitches removed like yesterday. wasnt as bad as i expected and now i can feel that i can open my mouth like 10% more bigger.. still exercising it to open to full range of motion.. told the doc about my numbness, and she gave me a very high dosage prescribtion of vitamin E..
wahahaha more pills to swallow! i hate/cant really swallow pills man.. argh! ok but i can feel the numbness is slowly dissipating.. now it feels slightly funny to touch the right lips and jaw.. last time was worst, now its better! yay!!!hmmmm
tomorrow im going back to camp for the last time as a NSF.. get my stuff and go home..cant imagine that this time can actually ever come to me now.. abit lost for words..lol
smoke on the water.
11:41 PM
Sunday, July 29, 2007
its been like what? nearly 7 days since i last had my wisdom tooth extraction.. there is no more pain, abit of soreness from opening my mouth too big, and yes there is still that numbness.. i cant feel my right lower jaw still, and my right lower lips, and my right chin.. it feels funny even when i shave or when i drink from a straw.. is this permanent? or is it really part of the anaesthetic being overdosely injected into me?
i will never know till monday when my stitches will be removed.. hopefully the people there can tell me what is actually happening to me! anyway, once i get my new phone fix, i will take shots of my extracted tooth.. its kinda cool actually. i have it in a film bottle :D thinking of getting a test tube and putting it there, but where to get test tube.. hmmm
smoke on the water.
1:36 AM
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
she asked
She ask me how the poem coming along
She ask me if I can write her a song
Its hard to do it when its way past bed time
My body so stone, my mind so asleep
Maybe with the help of the rose tea she always sip
She said she feeling down
More like the blaahh
Whatever that means, it sure make me go ahh??
Hard at work, doing my best
I try to make her feel better
So that she can rest
It sounds all too familiar
With what I am doing
Doing poem for her will make her feel better
She loves reading poem and lyrics of sort
She said it will make her day
And chase the rain clouds away
Alas I gave my very effort
I put out all my words
Just to make up something
That is nice for her reading
Who knows maybe one day because of this
I may just get a hug and perhaps a nice wet kiss
Firdaus, 24 july 2007, roughly 1am? haha
and for the record, i had all 4 of my wisdom tooth extracted.. its a minor 1 day surgery that didnt last no more than 3 hours plus? yes it hurt in the beginning like somebody just took a hammer and hit you on the face to knock the tooth out..my lower jaw was really numb 100%, i couldnt talk properly, eat properly, drink properly.. yes the lips and jaw is still numb(right side) and no im not feverish or what.. yes i have 2 stitches on the right and left side of my mouth.. i cant open my jaw fully, just 60%?
my stitch may tear, its clearly visible if you were to look into my mouth and it just look painful. i have been taking my pills of antibiotics, swelling pill, less the painkillers and gargle my mouth with the soap thingy.. i totally appreciate your concern and all but please, life goes on..im not dying.. im just very miserable because my hunger for real food is REAL and i cant do much about it..
=)
smoke on the water.
10:59 PM
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
ok its hurting.. its like someone pluck my tooth using a plier and jammed it straight out just like that.. half of my lips, tongue and chin is numb.. the right side.. argh i cant feel a thing..
smoke on the water.
12:24 AM
Sunday, July 22, 2007
2 years ago, around this time.. i had long hair, i had my pink ic, i had a social life outside.. about a mth and a week later after that day, i had no hair, my ic is green and in a way, my allege social life got taken away from me per se. yes its nearly been 2 years since i first got enlisted into the army..
started my journey as a recruit for 3 mths, graduated as a private for a week where i proceed to OCS to be a OCT for a good ol 9 mths before being commissioned as an officer where i would actually spent the rest of my NS liability as an officer of the SAF. 2 years isnt actually a long time, but it isnt a short time either. and like it or not, wearing that uniform calls for you to make certain sacrifices from time to time with regards to everything you hold. inclusive of whatever social life you have, let it be family, friends, gf etc.
the sacrifices is even more certain and the "time to time" is even more frequent especially if you're a commander and especially if you're an officer.. i know, i would have known cos i just went through that for nearly a year already. always ready on the moment notice, whether or not if you're on OFF, at home, sleeping and watching the tele..
however. i come to realise how much i have "adapt" myself to army and all..i come to realize how much have i lost touch with what i call the civilian world, the outside world.. a world outside of camp, away from the concertina wire and metal fences, away from the xray machine and metal detectors.
lost touch not in a sense i get soo outdated with what is going on but things like, having time to watch the tv, reading the papers, going to the beach, hanging out with people outside without actually bother about what is going to happen once you book in again etc things like that.. i went to sentosa last week.. it felt great and refreshing.. yet it felt oddly weird. i guess in a way, i got desensitize to the things civilians usually feel day to day in their normal day.
then i booked in again after a deserving break from work.. army again for a few days till weekend came.. then i just notice how lost/mix-match about how things are.. i use to think going to town for the night was a bane cos i always always tired from school and the people.. then army made me changed that, i felt refresh whenever i was there with the people.. then now, i dont feel much of anything.. its like a transition period.. yeah that's what it is, a transition.. hopefully it will go pass quick.. i cant really afford to be in this daze state for long..
too much things need doing without much break for me to prepare myself.. typical firdaus's life.. hahaha, ah man..
anyway tomorrow is my wisdom tooth surgery, argh.. all 4 will be gone..
if you notice, my left bottom tooth is practically horizontal, and my right one is upright but towards the back.. doc said the right one is harder to take out.. and if you notice small thin white lines beneath these tooth, its my nerve to my lower jaw and lips.. he said there is a minimum 15% risk total, of damaging it when the teeth are being extract.. meaning, i wont be able to feel much of my lips if its damaged.. and if that happen and if it last for more than 6 mths.. more or less, its permanent.. heh.
ok, good news is, i be put on GA, general anaesthetic.. zzzzz its been a while since i got under the knife.. argh! i hate that.
smoke on the water.
9:37 PM
Monday, July 16, 2007
well practically i just managed to spend the whole sunday at home or somewhere near home, and i didnt have to actually make my way back to camp by 9 pm or what via MRT, BUS and FASTCRAFT which adds up to about 2 hours of travelling time. now its already monday morning, its time to sleep really soon.. hmmm want to do gym later. yeah, that's it man.. pump up abit..
feeling is great though, the fact that i watch a sunday movie with my family the entire night.. then went online to surf, play some games, chat with some people on a sunday night.. just before the start of the week.. it felt refreshing and nostalgic of my past civilian life before i wore the uniform.. sunday night, 15 july 2007 was a really a long wait since the last time this happen, which was, NEVER?? hahaha argh i cant remember when was the last time..
oh yes, im gonna start something, its either like a photo blogging thingy, photo journal or more specifically, a food journal/blog.. i think its both? gonna use my new camera phone, take stuff, put it up here and just talk about it.. we shall see how, will put it to trial and stuff.. alright, time to sleep.
smoke on the water.
12:17 AM
Thursday, July 12, 2007
some people have been asking me why im at home and so i said im on leave. some people asked me then again till when and i said its for 3 days and some people said again "wah"
=P i realize something and i will say this. the last time i took a leave or an off was nearly 7 months ago!! before i went roving and i was on cruise control from then till last tues when i took my leave. i didnt stop for any petrol break in a sense. well if you considered the weekends, well its not exactly a 24 hours shift thing, so by right, im suppose to have my minimum sat night and sundays.
but then again, for this 7 mths, i already got confined four times, hahaha =P unfortunately i didnt really realize how important is to take a small break in between this 7 mths so that at least i can feel fresher and perhaps even carry out my work better because i feel better?
i wont really know for sure but what im sure of is yes, im really tired and i just need to sniff the fresh air for a few days longer. ppl ask me how am i doing. im doing ok, but im just tired. overall, generally, basically tired. not necessarily physically and mentally tired. its just the overall tiredness of booking in, of working day and night, of being there 24/7, of giving orders/instructions, of following orders/instructions and booking out, can really drive you up the wall sometime..
you may not know it, you may not notice it but i think subconsciously it do have an adverse effect on you. well personally i think i have grown slightly more eccentric over time.. lol, i think you can ask my friends about it.. i think so man. someone told me once,
what we need is sanity, working yourself too hard doesnt give you one
smoke on the water.
9:12 AM
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
i made a poem at 1.30 am today =) *hint hint clue clue*
Its 1 am on the line
She’s talking to me
Oh its so fine
Sexy as hell
Hot as fire
She is the sort of girl
Who exist in your desire
Lips luscious lips
Eyes precious diamonds
1 touch and you may just flip
Her hand so delicate, her skin so soft
Sensual and electrifying
Words are its death defying
Said to me if I get her a poem
It may just be a date
But just don’t tell any of them
Secretly we met
At the train just before sunset
And she gave me her company
I smiled like sun sun sunny
Firdaus the horrible poet
smoke on the water.
11:06 PM
Sunday, July 01, 2007
this goes to my friend who is going through a rough time.
The storm is bad tonight
So how could I
Awake without you here
Your picture is on the wall
You haven’t called
But I will wait for you
To her own reflection, she said, “I will hold on”
To her own reflection, she said, “I will be strong”
The storm is letting up
But it won’t die
“If you weren’t wrong, was I?”
Your picture still remains
But I wonder
Are you still the same?
To her own reflection, she said, “I will hold on”
To her own reflection, she said, “I will be strong”
Am I losing you?
Am I losing you?
I’m waiting
I’m waiting till it’s over
It's over now
I'm waiting
I'm waiting till it's over
It's over now
I'm waiting
I'm waiting till it's over
It's over now
I'm waiting
I'm waiting till its over
It's over now
To her own reflection, she said "I will hold on"
To her own reflection, she said "I will be strong"
To her own reflection, she said "I will hold on"
To her own reflection, she said "I will be strong"
Finch - Without you here
smoke on the water.
5:31 PM
