Saturday, November 25, 2006
gut instinct is something all of us have.. but how it works, how you derive to that feeling, it all boils down to individual.. me? my brain usually works overtime subconsciously and play around with factors around me to come to some sort of "feeling" aka the force.. lol like for example, you planned for some gathering ah in 2 weeks time.. then things went on as per normal
as days go by, things happend, and then 3 days before the actual gathering is held, you asked again for any sort of details or plans.. you even have that "feeling" it may just not happen at all.. and tadaaa! it got cancelled for some reason or what lah.. yeah it works on me all the time.. why? i dont know ah.. but overall that dont bother me at all.. its good that i can sense disturbances in the FORCE.. at least i wont hope so much, i wont get disappointed so much..
but still, its the fact that things like this, always happen to me.. well not all the time but still i always see a pattern once more.. sometimes i feel like im used in a way or so.. "ok we need him, must get hold of him... ok we dont need him anymore, so lets move on" honestly said, i feel like a rag at times.. wanted and used when the table is messed up but just chucked away on the kitchen sink after done.. im just penning this down cos no matter how hard i said its ok/ its not bothering me.. it is man.. hmmm maybe the fact that now, things may just seem clearer to me.. and yet very opaque.
i cant never tell or find out why it happend, maybe i can ask around but then again, i be nosing around if i do.. what business do i have eh? i can suck it up and just carry on with things.. stuff like this do happen. but i mean, i dont do it to people.. if i cant go/wont go, i just say so.. i vaguely remember any last min things happening and even if it do, i usually make it up to them.. always do, always have.. =)
i keep telling myself, im just being paranoid as usual.. perhaps, maybe not, i dont know. god, i feel so lousy at times, thinking about shit like this.. hmm must be those down times i have from time to time .
smoke on the water.
12:11 AM
