Thursday, April 21, 2005
"not bad", "baik (good) " are just a few of the compliments one can get if you train hard enough at the gym...and i can safely say, its paying off... however as much as it is, im not satisfied...something is still missing and im gonna go all out even harder now...i dont know why but it just gets to me if im not good enough...and i was never good enough.. never ever enough.. frustrating as it may sound, i do try to put that negative energy to good use..
hmmmm, im trying to achieve something soo high up, its just too high up.. sooner or later i will reach my limit and what will happen then? do i crash back down? do i just stop and hang? i dont know...i dont want to know... all i want to know is to push myself, more and more and more....until satisfaction guaranteed but i dont have much hope for that to happen...its just how i exist in this world..
and this brings us back to never being good enough... that is how i am, that is how i will be..
smoke on the water.
2:37 PM
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
My Chemical ROmance
Im not Ok ..
Note: i dont feel fucking o kay
Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say
I never want to let you down or have you go
It's better off this way
For all the dirty looks
For photographs your boyfriend took
Remember when you broke your foot
From jumping out the second floor
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again
You sing the words but still don't know what they mean
To be a joke and look
Another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time
Take a good hard look
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out
Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book
But the pages are all torn and frayed
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)
But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay
(Trust me)
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)
smoke on the water.
12:56 AM
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Last week, this girl message me on friendster and told me i was cute.. hahahahaha , you people dont know how much that made my day man or my whole week for tha matter...cos the fact that i dont know her though i see her around in school... it only tell us one thing... you never know who is looking at you in school, or any where for that matter... observing you from a far, like predator stalking its prey.. hahahaha.. it can be concluded that she did observed me in school and just that i didnt notice it.. hehehe
oh well, this just goes to show, things do go your way at some point of your life... though it didnt really mean that of a big deal, cos the girl is attached and all, awwwwww hahahaha.. but i guess now i know how it feels for girls to be sincerely complimented by guys about them and all.. moving on, i think i may think twice about not complimenting anyone i know.. i mean i dont generally do it cos ppl see it as a hidden agenda and that they cant really see that what i said is sincere and true...
not just because i want to say it for the sake of saying it... i mean come mon, im a honest man.. not completely honest but good enough aye?? so yeah maybe i should try it, saying, hey you look wonderful today or did you did something with your hair or what ah.. could be simple simple stuff.. everyone deserves some form of credit and i guess that goes along way to most..well to me anyway.. and that is why i dont take compliments well..i just dont know how to react to it.. blushing isnt enough =)
smoke on the water.
1:23 AM
