Tuesday, July 27, 2004
sighed..it is about 2.10 am by the time i write this down..and i have a class in 7 hours time..but i have to pen this down, if not, i doubt i can sleep..
i guess i still have feelings for her..no matter how hard i try, no matter how i fight, it just keeps coming back..its like the sun rising and setting, you cant just stop it or ignore it..i know i try, time and time again i am .. but she is like the dream that keeps haunting me..like that wind that keeps on blowing, like that rain that keeps on coming.. honestly, when this happen, i feel lost..i dont know what to do..i know some may think this is wrong and i should just let gooo..
i tried, im trying, it aint easy..i dont want sympathy or even understanding..i just need to write this down..i know ppl are gonna read this..but i have nothing to hide..akways in the neverending battle to control my emotions..wwhy/? because it keeps my head clear..at times it is clouded and i will lose focus..but i guess im only human...a few days back, a friend said my nick is always mushy..now i guess i know why..its like Jerkyl and Hide..There is this Hide in me..someone i myself not quite understand..
but it dont matter because the purpose of me doing this is to gain peace..hopefully it works for now anyway..
smoke on the water.
9:30 PM
