Wonderwall confessions

2009-12-12T03:15:00.001+08:00

scary

rekindle fire

2009-08-07T00:43:00.001+08:00

As sweet as sugar
Tip of the tongue shiver
The sight of her in bright green shirt
Full of glee, with me will she flirt?
I try my best to win her over
Coming out my shell, with nothing to cover
If nothing is ventured, nothing can be gained
It is easy to say, I find hard to sustain
Walking to me, she glides over
Full of grace and poise, she is the go-getter
Asked for name and number
I answered with a stutter
Once that was done, begins a new story
The rest that happened, is what people say history

2009-07-02T16:01:00.000+08:00

ok i got 1 hotplate that comes with a magnetic stirrer.. and tried and tested, 1 stirrer can only work with 1 beaker + stirrer bar.. unless the beaker and bar is very small, 3 cm max, it wont stir if there are more beakers.. hmmmmm need to keep the H2SO4 cool at 0C before pouring and then maintain mixture temp at 20C max. That means i need ice bath and that means i need something to hold water and ice with my beaker in it...

aluminium tray that is small enough for the hotplate and no choice, would have to do it 1 by 1 slowly.. unless i can secure another hot plate.. doubt it, no space in the fumehood...ok assuming 3 hrs per batch, i got 4 batch and thus 12 hrs and thus 2 days worth of 6 hrs each.. i need ice too, and thus cooler box..need to check with the lab for this..looks and sounds feasible

dive dive dive

2009-06-30T17:45:00.001+08:00

After a 4 days, 3 night course, i am now a certified open water PADI diver.. wooooooo =)

In the town where I was born
Lived a man who sailed to sea
And he told us of his life
In the land of submarines
So we sailed up to the sun
Till we found a sea of green
And we lived beneath the waves
in our yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

And our friends are all aboard
Many more of them live next door
And the band begins to play

We all live in a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

(Full speed ahead Mr. Boatswain, full speed ahead
Full speed ahead it is, Sgt.
Cut the cable, drop the cable
Aye, Sir, aye Captain, captain)

As we live a life of ease
Every one of us has all we need
Sky of blue and sea of green
In our yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine
Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

said the wrong things

2009-06-25T01:04:00.002+08:00

give me my novocaine.. in the need for it to numb my senses to way way way numb. i figured, if i dont do this, i cant sleep, period.. the mind games can simply kill me to the point of just kill me for real and end it now.. at times i figured, its like having a ball hitting you on the head and you not knowing it was coming at all.. its just WHAM! and that's it.. you're on the ground. I wonder why i tolerate with this? Is it because its part and parcel of life and how things are in nature or is it because I am at fault in the first place? or is it because that is how things should be, an up and down, yin and yang, winner and loser etc

i cant never really say or tell which would really apply.. perhaps its a mixture of all of that was mentioned.. people learn new things everyday (no matter how insignificant), somehow errors and faults always points back an arrow all the way to you because it has to start somewhere aye? in this web of life and nature, everything is related or connected, one way or the other. and to have hot, you need cold and thus things are never up nor never down 24/7.. nothing is as perfect as imperfection. life would be kinda boring if things are just the way it is, day in day out.. your cognitive mind cant grow and developed and thus, you get nothing in the end.

well i hope whatever i just said made some sense, cos as of know, it seems to be but perhaps my mind is clouded by events that can be compared to having balls hitting your head without you knowing.. go sleep.

humility

2009-05-10T23:57:00.002+08:00

i am a biker.. ever was, ever will.. i have been riding/ cycling ever since i was 7?? and i didnt look back ever since.. initially its just simple leisure rides around the neighborhood but now its progressed to something more active and physical, involve bikes with 120mm fork travel and a dirt path.. i wont say mountain biking is my hobby but more of a passion...and i hope the activity really takes off in singapore and thus lead to more trails for people like me to use!!!

though i realize some bikers can be quite temperamental in some ways...either whoever in front is going too slow, block the way or just too uptight to even give you a weak smile (i stated weak smile, not smile because knowing how exhausting cycling can be, i totally understand it gets hard to not focus on the thing at hand) but ya, i think some bikers should try to minimize the antics of being unfriendly.. CHILLLL

im not saying all but some, and especially so those who rides machines worth more than 1K.. im not generalizing but so far this is what i see, the more expensive your ride is, the more the rider seem unfriendly.. i have seen it all the time! i think whatever your ride is, let it be 100 bucks from Giant or a 10K carbon composite imported from France, bikers are still bikers.. the essence of being bikers is simple, freedom of movement (well that's in my opinion anyway) and coolest thing is, we dont generate any carbon footprint, less the CO2 we breathe out and those bikes with motors.

i think when riders see other riders who have a less expensive bike with him/her, they be looked down upon.. which is unfair cos as much as its passion/hobby/life etc its also boils down to one's ability to afford it.. doesnt mean having a better ride makes you a better rider anyway.. its like typical, drive a BMW and ppl wah and drive a toyota and ppl go eew.. which is hardly the case for motorist i believe.. same thing should apply for bikers! we are a bigger community than some people can actually imagine and we're all riding biycles.. not motorbikes, not buggies, not skateboards..

so please, lets all be more friendly! smile abit more and unite!! to chill and relax riding our ride =)

ground control

2009-05-09T01:08:00.001+08:00

went to siow chang today.. had my dad's reel fixed.. wont be cheap.. hopefully it doesnt exceed 40 SGD! saw the kind of stuff they were selling.. not bad, very big shop and lots of varieties.. tempted to splurge on some spoons and cheap lures.. haha but haiya, must keep to my budget.. then went beach road.. also same.. apparently i have no idea why some lures are like 20-30 bucks each!

it was so hard finding something below 6 bucks but ya.. so ended up didnt buy any lures.. so i saved some cash.. maybe will get them next time around, hehehe.. need spoon, surface action lures..maybe a spinner bait and those soft types also.. depending on the kind of budget i have..

i was able to really try luring a few days back as i was trying to catch this garfish by the wave breakers.. quite fun and tiring.. too bad the garfish got away! but its ok!revenge will be mine!! muahahaha

only the good die young

2009-05-06T12:59:00.002+08:00

a man once sang
"One by one
Only the good die young
They’re only flying too close to the sun
And life goes on -
Without you..."

i know how it feels.. that feeling that life must go no matter what.. time and time again i guess.. everybody will have that moment, like a buddy of mine.. hahaha ok maybe the song is abit tooo deep but ya, the point is still similar =) oh well, its the holidays now.. got to live it man. even the world's economy that is so big and complicated has a downtime, let alone our own lives..something so small and meager..definitely should have its own downtime too :)

2009-04-30T23:18:00.001+08:00

the time is now and then.. sandy beaches, radiating sun and the sea to greet you with waves.. what else can i ask for? muahahaha, ok maybe more spending power would be nice =)

back

2009-04-23T23:20:00.002+08:00

ok finally im back.. hopefully i can blog more often now... school has been quite something... not cos i have no time to blog or do other things but it drains my brain and soul by so much, i have nothing left by the time i reach home.. most cases, its just brain dead and zoning out to god knows where into that subconscious realm of mine..but now, now i am left with just 1 semester exam paper which is in 4 days time.. my brain feels like it just sniffed vicks and the blocked "nose" has been cleared and i can now breathe easier..

well for now anyway, but i will try to keep my blog updated regularly.. maybe perhaps the reason why im so stoned is cos i stopped blogging with the excuse that i have no time or i just think anymore when im at home, but who knows, it might actually in fact keep me sane in this insane world.. but then again, the only sane thing to do is to go insane in this insane world?? or is it not?

i shall end with a nice dilbert quote "Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue."

2009-04-19T02:00:00.000+08:00

sigh.. its always.. always.. give me my peace of mind =)

2009-03-18T09:32:00.001+08:00

Red jumpsuit apparatus

When I see your smile
tears roll down my face.
I can't replace.

And now that I'm strong I have figured out
how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul,
and I know I'll find deep inside me, I can be the one.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven.

It's ok...
It's ok...
It's ok...

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
and stars are falling all for us
days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven.

Cause you're my
you're my, my,
my true love,
my whole heart,
please don't throw that away.

Cause I'm here, for you
please don't walk away and
please tell me you'll stay, stay..

Use me as you will
pull my strings just for a thrill
and I know I'll be okay
though my skies are turning gray.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven.

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven.

i think its more meaningful if its, "saving you sends me to hell" hahahaha =)

question why?

2009-02-25T00:19:00.002+08:00

2nd day of term break, recess break to some of you.. its actually a whole week of no school and it apparently designed/made to give the students a well deserved break so that they can continue the 2nd half of the semester with gusto and energy.. UNFORTUNATELY its not always and usually not the case because, there are just so much work to do.. Let it be tutorials, quiz revisions, assignments (group and individual). i feel so tired and its my 2nd day of holiday.. i mean who in the right mind feels tired on 2nd day of their holiday? me

THE SYSTEM IS FLAWED i tell you.

PND

2009-02-06T08:37:00.002+08:00

Post-nasal drip (PND) occurs when excessive mucus is produced by the sinuses. The excess mucus accumulates in the throat or back of the nose. It can be caused by rhinitis, sinusitis, or laryngopharyngeal acid reflux. Usually caused by allergies, weather, humidity and late sleeping habits as what the doc said.. I think mine is all 3, hahaha...I suffer from coughing, spitting, vomiting, throat discomfort on some mornings and I cant survive without hot water to clear the nose and throat when I wake up..

However after the doctor's visit, I am given the nasal spray so we shall see how it works now. The canister isnt big, just 30 doses and with 2 dose for each nostril, Im left with 26 doses. However this morning, the PND isnt so bad. maybe the Vit C drink did help and i did managed to find some 7 hrs of nearly uninterrupted sleep. hahaha. booya!

are you alive

2009-01-27T21:55:00.002+08:00

i realized its been too long since i regularly update my blog with stuff.. from my point of view to facts to funny/weird/really random stuff =) though not anymore.. i come to realize at times, times are just something to come by.. well maybe not exactly.. its more of having my own personal time to do what i want and not because i have to do it for 1 reason or the other.. i mean, time where you're allowed to sit down, read the newspaper or blog etc.

is school really that bad to suck the very life out of you? maybe, maybe not.. i cant really tell cos i dont really wanna sit down and really think what have i been doing.. why? cos if i do realize that i have been wasting jack worth of time, then i will feel so miserable, it wont help me one bit.. maybe instead i should work towards improving my management of time.. to some extend its in the process cos im like using an organizer and all.. but i figured, whenever i need to get things done, i get distracted easily too.. and that's nooo good.. sigh

i guess i got to make do with what i have and push on and go go go. it reminds of my moments i had in army where i just stopped having a social life for some time (5mths approx) due to commitment in the force.. calling me up when im leave, not having enough sleep and just so many paper and social work you got to do..i survived that though.. and i guess when you're in army, your problems and issues are quite contained in your camp.. school is slightly different now so MUST FOCUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

cracking

2009-01-20T00:07:00.000+08:00

i require some heat treatment cos yeah

I'm so happy 'cause today
I've found my friends
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, but that's okay, 'cause so are you
We broke our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care
And I'm not scared
Light my candles, in a daze
'Cause I've found god
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah

I'm so lonely, but that's okay, I shaved my head
And I'm not sad
And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard
But I'm not sure
I'm so excited, I can't wait to meet you there
But I don't care
I'm so horny, but that's okay
My will is good
yeah yeah yeah (x6)

I like it - I'm not gonna crack
I miss you - I'm not gonna crack
I love you - I'm not gonna crack
I killed you - I'm not gonna crack

I like it - I'm not gonna crack
I miss you - I'm not gonna crack
I love you - I'm not gonna crack
I killed you - I'm not gonna crack

I'm so happy 'cause today
I've found my friends
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, but that's okay, 'cause so are you
We broke our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care
And I'm not scared
Light my candles in a daze
'Cause I've found god
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah

I like it - I'm not gonna crack
I miss you - I'm not gonna crack
I love you - I'm not gonna crack
I killed you - I'm not gonna crack

I like it - I'm not gonna crack
I miss you - I'm not gonna crack
I love you - I'm not gonna crack
I killed you - I'm not gonna crack

Nirvana - Lithium

hera oh hera

2009-01-06T23:50:00.001+08:00

HERA

(verse)
There’s someone here to cure my heartache
The mess that you have left behind
The drowning pain, the wishful sorrows
How could you control my mind?

Jupiter and Mars disappear
Running out of time my dear
Flaming red and raging so near
You come in clean and make it clear

(transition)
What are these hasty things you say?
Promises that you’ve broken

(chorus)
I can’t find, by my side, you my dear
Across the sky, mighty lights, you I see
And with all honesty I’ll find my maze tonight (inside you)
Hera calms my misery

(verse)
Another day you come in my way
Hush and hide from scrutiny
Terrorize the people I fear
Hold me tight don’t leave me here

Jupiter and Mars disappear
Running out of time my dear
Chamomile Hera sleeps away
Give my heart, so you would stay

(transition)
What are these hasty things you say?
All of these curse you have broken

(chorus)
I can’t find, by my side, you my dear
Across the sky, mighty lights, you I see
And with all honesty I’ll find my maze tonight (inside you)
Hera calms my misery

I can’t find, by my side, you my dear
Across the sky, mighty lights, you I see
And with all honesty I’ll find my maze tonight (inside you)
Hera calms my misery

composed by ashik asat =) really meaningful now if yu ask me =)

old school

2009-01-05T09:32:00.001+08:00

listen to class 95 now makes me feel nostalgic and old school.. on the way home in lim's car

I was lost and alone
trying to grow
making my way down that long winding road

And no reason no rhyme
like a song out of time
and there you were standing
in front of my eyes

how could I be such a fool
to let go of love and break all of the rules

girl when you walked out that door
left a hole in my heart
and now I know for sure

you're the air that I breath
girl you're all that I need
and I wanna thank you lady
you're the words that I read
you're the life that I see
and you're love is all that I need

I was searching in vain
playing your game
had no one else but myself left to blame
you came into my world
no diamonds or pearls
could ever replace what your gave to me girl

just like a castle of sand
girl I almost have lost
slipped right out of my hands

and just like a flower needs rain
I will stand by your side
through the joy and the pain

you're the air that I breathe
girl you're all that I need
and I wanna thank you lady

you're the words that I read
you're the life that I see
and you're love is all that I need

you're the air that I breathe
girl you're all that I need
and I wanna thank you lady

you're the words that I read (words that i read)
you're the life that I see (you're the life that I see)
and you're love is all that I need (all that i need)

you're the song that I sing (song that i sing)
girl you’re my everything (you’re my everything)
and I wanna thank you lady

you're love is all that I need girl
you're the air that I breathe
and I wanna thank you lady (I wanna thank you)
your the words that I read girl
you're love is all that I need

and I wanna thank you ( and I wanna thank you lady)
you're all that I need

hahaha every guy in the car instinctly started singing to this song =)

merry holidays

2008-12-25T16:50:00.001+08:00

merry xmast to all christians and happy holidays to the rest!

a toss to the most unproductive period of the year ever!hahaha

sigh

2008-12-19T06:34:00.002+08:00

i really hope that by doing this that when my body goes to work, my heart and soul still remains here at home, on my bed, sleeping away till 10 am!! and that once i reach office, my body feels refresh like i had sleep for 2 days straight and that i had the bestest of breakfast and rest! .. hmmm hahaha so hopeful yet feel so hopeless.. tomorrow is a sat and yet i planned myself to wake up at 7 am..

OH WELL. a few more days and its all over!!! and then start all over again, wahahaha

wooo

2008-12-13T08:15:00.000+08:00

finally i feel im gonna catch a big kahuna today! like 5kg! or something!!!!!!!! MOBY DICK EAT YOUR BLUBBER OUT!!

tired

2008-12-10T23:02:00.001+08:00

if life can be represented by a burning candle wick.. my candle would be left by 1 cm worth of wick.. so yeah, hopefully it can re wick itself =) NO BURN OUTS

helmet

2008-12-04T22:28:00.003+08:00

i have been thinking.. does anyone know how a bike helmet vent works? ok motorbike helmet nowdays have what we called, air vents, where air flow into some gap or hole and creates this cooling effect across the helmet so that the user dont exactly have his/her head burn while riding under a hot sun.. it can get really steamy inside a helmet, especially for someone like me with thick hairs..

so mine is those cheap ones.. its basically the helmet shell and it has some ducts to guide air to flow into it and allegely it helps to cool your helmet.. but think about it, cos these ducts are merely simple additional shells on your helmet.. meaning to say, your helmet, and they just stick another shell onto it where in between shell no 2 and 1, air can flow through.. essentially, without it, air can still flow and will flow through your helmet shell.. wont that cool your helmet too?

or is there some design where air is suppose to travel through the inner helmet, the inner foam or what, and yeah, create some wind effect INSIDE THE HELMET, rather then just outside the helmet?? but if you do that, if the guys really travel damn fast, like 100km/h and more, its gonna be so super loud! hmmmmmmmm

and the more expensive helmets, their air vents are flushed into the shell, which made more sense? dont it? but then it brings up the noise issue altogether.. hmmmm anyone can enlightend me? of course if i do get really serious of my bike thingy, i wont stick to this M fizz helmet.. this be my pillion helmet.. i would get a full face man! maybe by Shoei or Bell.. =)

or perhaps more ex helmets, the air flow is nearer to the inside and thus even cooler?? hahaha cheaper helmet have their air flow concentrated at the top and that's bout it??

anime

2008-11-28T23:52:00.001+08:00

can someone encourage me to finish up on my one piece anime session? i left at ep 100?? and now its like 300++++ aaaaaaah!

my girl

2008-11-26T23:13:00.001+08:00

Have you seen my girl?
She's the one with the curly hair.
She was sitting just right over there,
now she's nowhere to be found.
I think she's mad at me.
I don't know why.
Maybe because I made her cry when I told her I was down.

She only likes me when I'm high
She's always trying to get me stoned
She wants to see me in her sky
And has to have me there alone
She's got me on my knees, begging baby, baby please!
Don't hurt me, no, don't hurt me so

As a gentleman I do everything I can
to be a law-abiding kind of energy,
yet stimulating all the while...
then she comes around.
I don't know why.
I always go too f***ing far
and end up puking on the bathroom tile, oh my!
She's tracking, she tracks me down, she's bound to drag me down.

period.

1234 1234

2008-11-16T00:44:00.002+08:00

bought my helmet today, booya! bought my new turf shoes for fico today too! booya!! ass man, go everywhere and everyone tell me the same thing, no size or only got adidas and nike models.. anyway from now on, if its field, i will use my Nike T90 and will ooze spanish flair while if its the turf or court, i will use my Lotto Prossima and will radiate italian style.. HAHAHA

anyway the human heart is fragile, not really physically cos it pumps a hell lot of blood and so many beats per day, goes to show how long lasting it is! but yeah fragile in another sense.. broken before you even know you broke it.

the human mind on the other hand, its like a window based computer..one moment its running smoothly and all and if you dont do anything funny to it, its cool but once it crashes and get corrupted and all, that's it, you cant even get things done correctly and everything else fail.. the mind is resilient to only so much.. once that barrier is broken, its hard to get it to function normally again =) and im not saying you go crazy.. just it gets broken. and ppl break down =)

=)

2008-11-04T21:09:00.003+08:00

bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license? bicycle? bike license?

i guess its about time i invest in a new mtb hardtail bike, something with bigger frames, 19-20ish inches and equip with disc brakes!! then i can tear up bt timah once more and help clueless bikers who has issues with their bikes =) and some people may think bicycle are actually cheap, THINK AGAIN! they can go over 1K SGD and up to 5K depending on several things.. im thinking of something below that 1K =P maybe 800 bucks and below, hahahaha, something hardy and tough so i wont break it if i do anything stupid like riding downslope at 60km/h and trying to jump off a dirt mound and landing front wheel first =) HAHAHAHAHA

i guess its also about time i invest in a vehicular license.. i would have love a class 4 or class 5 but alas, govt wouldnt like it if a 23 yr old goes on a road rage with a 500Ton crane =) *btw those things are humongous* anyway yeah, i have no issue with the public transport currently except for those buggers who refuse to move into the centre of the mrt cabin during peak hours cos they are afraid they will miss their stop which will after the 10th station or or when they reach an interchange and require to switch train and in their mind, they be the only person to actually switch train and everybody else in the train is just there to prevent that from happening.. YES THAT MEANS YOU. be considerate, my glare at you for just standing there and not moving in means something..

anyway moving on, yes no issues with public transport but i guess i foresee a good future investment in a license.. thus its either class2b or 3.. so why a bike? when its allegely unsafe? cos im still studying, i cant afford a car, my family doesnt have a car, neither will i get any good rate of return in investing 1K SGD +++ in a car license YET. bike is far cheaper, and in an engineering sense, more efficient. so bike now, car later.. can be use for both work *if need be*, school *if i can actually afford one soon* and leisure *if i dont feel the pinch of erp gantries being put up every 10m along the expressway*

in every essence, im approaching a milestone in life =) gonna be 24 damn soon and yeah *also that some of you can stop nagging at me for not having a license =P*

in the words of dave grohl "what if i said im not like the others....you're the pretender!...i will never surrender!!"

hmm

2008-11-02T23:51:00.002+08:00

have you ever came to a point where most of the people you hoping on lets you down for 1 reason or the other.. let it be for a valid reason or not?

have you ever came to a situation where you wonder and question your decision and try to see if what you had done, is the right thing, the wrong thing or the best thing?

have you ever came to a limit where no matter how much you try to rest and manage, you are just still so tired?

have you?

teng teng tenggg

argh

2008-10-30T23:35:00.002+08:00

Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun. Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu. Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku. Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...
Ku tahu ku takkan selalu ada untukmu. Disaat engkau merindukan diriku. Ku tahu ku takkan bisa memberikanmu waktu. Yang panjang dalam hidupku
Yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cintaku. Yang ku cari selama ini dalam hidupku. Dan hanya padamu ku berikan sisa cintaku. Yang panjang dalam hidupku...
Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun. Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu. Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku. Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...
Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun. Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku. Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...
Ooh...Ku mencintaimu, lebih dari apapun. Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu. Ku mencintaimu, sedalam-dalam hatiku. Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku...

pretend

2008-10-19T23:38:00.001+08:00

Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
Pretending that I'm doing well
My need is such; I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no one can tell.

Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
A drift in a world of my own
I play the game; but to my real shame
You've let me to dream all alone.

Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal.

Oh yes I'm the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what I'm not; you see
I'm wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you're still around.

Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal

Yes I'm the great pretender
Just laughing and gay like a clown
I seem to be what I'm not you see
I'm wearing my heart like a crown
Pretending that you're still around

right/wrong

2008-10-14T06:32:00.002+08:00

its been a while since i last update this blog..been too busy doing everything else.. i should be more focus but it seems no matter how hard i try to focus, nothing seem to be working..its like im a dslr camera with a broken lense and no matter how much the camera operator tries to rotate that telescopic lense, the picture always end up blur.

it can be seen on everyday things..at times i always leave stuff in my locker when i work my way to office or vice versa.. my typos on the keyboard at times are horrendous! and no i dont really get typo =) and im always tired at night, after 8 pm onwards, just tired man.. physically drained and mentally exhausted. i presume its the post raya syndrome where there is just too much of allege celebration.. i hope so..

or is it due to the recent spat of issues with regards to r/s? i think that played a part too..since the issues are much closer to heart & me, maybe that has been taxing on me.. dont get me wrong, things like these are normal and happen to anyone and everyone.. but the combination of work, raya and what not, really takes the cake i guess.. i have yet to fully practice for my jamming session this sat and argh! im really hoping things work out. =)

in the quest to satisfy everybody else, i realize i forgot to look into myself and of course, to fulfill my basic needs of satisfaction.. i dont need much to be satisfied though but its the whole "i cant let others down just cos i want something i want" mentality.. maybe that is why im indecisive in things at times.. i rather run away from that responsibility than rather to face it and take it that, no im sorry i cant fulfill what you require cos i want to do what i want to do.

though that doesnt mean i should be selfish. =)

woooo

2008-10-04T16:25:00.003+08:00

the first week of hari raya weekend is here.. today is saturday and im at home..however, unlike last time, im not really doing any house chores and school work.. now, its just school work.. hahaha.. people may argue how sad my life is but hey, whatever you say about it, i still need to get my report and logbook done.. either way.. no escaping it unless you're willing to write in to my supervisor, telling them to excuse me from doing so, then by all means..

its ok, at home, i can do plenty too, play my bass, do my logbook, cook, eat for free, watch tv etc etc =) oh well

SELAMAT HARI RAYA to one and all!!

2008-09-27T11:52:00.001+08:00

"Out the door just in time
Head down the 405
Gotta meet the new boss by eight am
The phone rings in the car
The wife is working hard
She's running late tonight again
Well, I know what I've been told
You've got to work to feed the soul
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know
I'm no Superman
And you've got your love online
And you think you're doing fine
But you're just pluged into the wall
And that deck of Tarot cards
Won't get you very far
There ain't no hand to break your fall
Well, I know what I've been told
You've got to know just when to fold
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know
I'm no Superman
(that's right)
You've crossed the finish line
Won the race but lost your mind
Was it worth it, after all
I need you here with me
Cause love is all we need
Just take a hold of the hand that breaks the fall
Well I know what I've been told
You've to break free to break the mold
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I can't do this all on my own
I know, that I'm no
Superman
Someday we'll be together
I'm no Superman
Someday we'll be together
I'm no Superman "

Lazlo Bane - Im no superman

energy

2008-09-22T06:28:00.002+08:00

a new start, with new energy charged into the battery.. hopefully this will last till end of the week..hmmmm funny enough it wasnt really the sleep but the activities that follow suit during the weekend that made me feel rejuvenated.. or could it be the sleep? i didnt really sleep by that much anyway.. hahaha. well we shall see later when i scoot off to work and we shall see if im able to fight my way through..it rained this morning though.. and the thunderstorm was so loud, it woke me up.. wasnt really that cooling till it stopped but now, its starting to get stuffy again.. oh well, off go to the island of oil

greetings

2008-09-21T00:22:00.002+08:00

today, i received a call from a chinese man.. his name was steven and the first thing he said was "assalamualaikum".. unless my ears were playing tricks on me, that is what i heard..he then proceed to ask, who is this? the son? so i figured, has to be the door contractor.. anyway moving on, point is, he gave a islamic greeting.. encik pang aka phillip does that too.. whenever i call him on the phone, he gives his assalamualaikum greeting.. both guys are non muslim.. though its quite cool, well for me anyway.

cos that arabic greeting i feel in my personal opinion need not necessarily tell ppl of your religion.. in arabic, it means "may peace be upon you" and to reply back with waalaikum salam" meaning "may peace be upon you too". i mean, in it doesnt have, hey im from religion A bow to me you infidels.. nope it didnt.. its all about hoping for peace for whoever you are greeting and talking too.. which i think should apply to all religion and atheist alike.. as long as you are deem to be a human being i think you should deserve some measure of peace everybody longs.

im not advocating EVERYBODY use the exact phrase.. no im not.. the reason why its in arabic is cos the religion islam originated in the middle east and ppl there speak arabic and thus the greetings is in arabic.. if it was in china or europe, i figured it be chinese or latin or english or something.. therefore, dont mean, ppl use it, its cos of trying to push their religion's weight around.. nope..

you can just use the english version or come out with your own.. that has the same meaning behind "may peace be upon you" a waddup my dawg is like, hey what's going on with you my brother? maybe more towards, nice to meet you? hahaha i dont know .. play around with it. just remember to spread the word of peace yo!

fight

2008-09-17T06:25:00.001+08:00

the hunger, the thirst, the tiredness from lack of sleep, the sleepiness with no coffee, the coldness from lack of heat.. i have no idea which is worst.. perhaps i need to sleep more and tat might get rid me of the negative energy.. like 1-2 hrs more?

err

2008-09-15T23:53:00.002+08:00

to err is human, to forgive divine.. like a bad star, falling faster, nothing to catch, nothing to hold,

welcome!

2008-09-15T06:30:00.001+08:00

terms

2008-09-13T10:57:00.002+08:00

critical exposure temperature: is the lowest temperature of an equipment that it can be exposed before it starts to suffer from low temperature embrittlement. it is usually dictated by MDMT and the lower it is, the better.

minimum design metal temperature: is the lowest design temperature of an equipment it can reach or go before it starts to suffer from low temperature embrittlement. it is usually a temperature limit that can be achieve by material designs and thus dependent on how good the designer is. lower it is, the better and this leads to lower CET.

maximum allowable working pressure: is the highest pressure setting an equipment are allowed to operate on without dangerous consequences and high risk of failing. it is higher than design pressure.

design pressure: is the highest operating pressure an equipment is allowed to operate on and is dictated by equipment design and metallurgy. it is higher than operating pressure.

operating pressure: is the normal working operating pressure an equipment is expected to handle during normal process operation. no safety issues concern.

design temperature: is the highest operating temperature an equipment is allowed to operate on and is dictated by equipment design and metallurgy. it is higher than operating temperature.

operating temperature: is the normal working operating temperature an equipment is expected to handle during normal process operation. no safety issues concern.

corrosion rating: it is the corrosion allowance rate allowed for that equipment. dictate by metallurgy, design thickness. ranges from 1.5mm to 4.5mm.

lack of

2008-09-12T06:21:00.003+08:00

i have to admit, currently..im only getting 5 hrs max..about half of the time, its less then that.. why do i drive myself towards such a sleep deprived state.. is it cos i find it a waste of time sometime? somehow im too sleepy or stone to give that answer :-)

purplish dark lover

2008-09-03T04:51:00.001+08:00

Ku mencintaimu lebih dari apa pun
Meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelap ku

Ku tahu kutakan selalu ada untuk mu
Di saat engkau merindukan diriku
Ku tahu kutakan bisa memberikan mu waktu
Yang panjang dalam hidupku

Yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cintaku
Yang kucari selama ini dalam hidupku
Dan hanya padamu kuberikan sisa cintaku
Yang panjang dalam hidupku...Hidupku…

stucked in my head for a while

cubicle

2008-09-01T22:42:00.004+08:00

in the process of trying to blend in with the rest of the staff and feeling and looking "old bird" in the company and not to be seen like some noob intern.. i took the liberty to decorate my cubicle to the best of my ability.. it might be abit overkill! but i feel at home =) hahahahahaha!

vampires

2008-08-28T06:29:00.001+08:00

The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get, for my pain
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game
Even though I know-I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold-like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal
But can you fake it, for just one more show
And what do you want, I want to change
And what have you got
When you feel the same
Even though I know-I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold-like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son
Tell me I'm the chosen one
Jesus was the only son for you

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
And someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son for you
And I still believe that I cannot be saved

protected

2008-08-16T17:15:00.002+08:00

today, i was out buying breakfast and lunch for myself.. yes me, buying breakfast and lunch at the market for myself.. so anyway, i notice this mum and daughter waiting in line for the atm.. i was behind them wanting to use the atm too.. i was minding my own business when i notice like whisp of smoke coming in from the right.. it was from a guy who was smoking.. well, he was smoking at the smoking section at mc donald.. but yeah anyway, he was smoking LEGALLY.

so yeah ,the mum took out 2 tissues.. 1 for her, 1 for her daughter.. place on the nose and breath through that.. honestly, i dont get the whole deal.. yes you have all the right to protect yourself from harmful stuff like passive cigarette smoke and all but doesnt it going a tat overboard? why? cos firstly that tissue paper wont prevent anything from coming into the lungs.. the pores are just too big..

secondly, how bout the fumes we breath in everyday since the fact that we live in city.. from the car, the industries and such? its just that, its a everyday thing and for those who drive, it didnt occur to them they are doing just that.. well yeah, the stuff that goes in the air are as bad as the ones for those cigarette or maybe even worst?? depending on situations

thirdly, how protective do you want to be of your kid in terms of these kind of stuff and for yourself?? i mean, I believe that the reason why HFMD are so widespread is because every other kid is just too darn clean that even abit of germs and bacteria and bad stuff can send them sick to the doctor.. when i was a kid back then.. i played anywhere and everywhere.. i got myself into all sort of dirt.. even canal water =)

forthly, there are risk in everything and anything.. that whisp of smoke you cover may not kill you but the fumes from the exhaust might? i will never know.. and fact is, we are in a gracious democratic harmonious society where tolerance is something we shouldnt take for granted.. so yeah, lets just act normal and no need to over react to things..

2008-08-07T23:41:00.001+08:00

are you hardcore?

warrior poets

2008-08-02T02:07:00.001+08:00

Poetry to some is words of rhyme
Others see it as a way to kill time
He sees neither
You shouldn’t either
At times his mind opens
Of the world left hidden and unspoken
Pen down, uncontrolled and unguided
Words just appear, bold and binded
Hoping to make sense of it all
He tries to make every word fall
Into place which hopefully make some sense at all
He does it out of fun,
He does it out of pleasure
Amusing himself with the poetic treasure
Out of this he finds joy
Out of this, he is known as the poetic boy

the name isnt fierce, but that will do =)

which is better

2008-07-27T22:45:00.002+08:00

ok.. i have been wondering about things cos at my workplace, in the toilet, there are like 4 hand dryers per toilet on the office floors and 1 towel paper dispenser.. it seems that im the rare few people who uses the hand dryers instead of the paper towel.. why? cos my reason is, save paper, save the trees.. but come, lets break it down and see which is better actually..

hand dryer (hot type)
ok, basically a fan blower type of device that blows hot air onto your hand to dry the water off.. so you would need electricity for the fan to spin at high speed and the heat comes from the resistance type of heater also powered by electricity to heat up that same air.. takes about 30-45 sec to get a nearly dry hands? at times, some dryer are not adjusted correctly, so its either not warm enough or its too hot.. then you need power for the hand sensor too..so, in general, that's alot of electricity for 30-45 sec of use.. but of course, once its not running, only sensor is powered and the fan and heater wont drain any electric..no paper is used and that saves trees.

hand dryer (cold type)
ok its base on the same principle as the hot type but its cold.. no heater at all and its design slightly different where the dryer are usually bigger and taller and placed on the floor..it blows very fast cold air over your hands and thus the fan uses electricity.. no heater, so that saves up on power.. but there are lights on some of them and that adds to electricity but its only activated when its blowing.. and of course, there is the hand sensor too.. usually it takes about 30 sec max to get a dry hand and it does feel good cos its not hot and you wont get burnt.. also no paper, so save the trees.

paper towel
the machine dispenses paper towel using a hand sensor, the longer you hold your hand there, the more paper it rolls out.. sensor needs power and the motor that rolls out the paper needs power.. and of course, it uses paper and that requires trees.. usually you need about 3-4 sec worth of rolling out to dry your hands and that is about 40-50 cm in length worth of paper? qn is, are those paper recycled? i dont know..

ok let say, the papers dont get recycled.. then i go for the cold type dryer.. the best environmentally friendly.. to make papers isnt easy, require alot of power, water and cutting down lots of trees.. though the fan uses electricity, its only temporary and its not as bad as the hot one =P

however, if the papers do get recycle, then best is the paper towel.. uses the minimum amt of power and if the paper are recycled and it uses recycled paper towel, then wow, that's even better :D but of course, all of these are base on rough facts and no solid concrete figures.. but generally i think its about there. so DO YOUR PART PEOPLE! SAVE THE WORLD !!!

dance dance

2008-07-26T08:14:00.001+08:00

i wish i can dance like him.. it may look stupid and retarded. but its old school and i think its cool!

2008-07-22T23:07:00.001+08:00

song goes to mr terminator whose heart was broken =)

The thrill is gone
The thrill is gone away
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away
You know you done me wrong baby
And you'll be sorry someday

The thrill is gone
It's gone away from me
The thrill is gone baby
The thrill is gone away from me
Although I'll still live on
But so lonely I'll be

The thrill is gone
It's gone away for good
Oh, the thrill is gone baby
Baby its gone away for good
Someday I know I'll be over it all baby
Just like I know a man should

You know I'm free, free now baby
I'm free from your spell
I'm free, free now
I'm free from your spell
And now that it's over
All I can do is wish you well

2008-07-20T22:59:00.002+08:00

3rd week of attachment starts tomorrow.. suprisingly, im looking forward to coming to work.. hahaha.. that's good, i guess i feel im doing something for once in a really long time..oh ya, soccer today was great.. even though 3/4 of the time, the whole field was taken but when that match was over, i really played! and yeah, i can sense and feel and see my skills are improving.. the part where how im able to hold the ball =)!!! yay!!!

i feel abit more like zidane, though i still got a long way to go.. after i tire out i realize my passing accuracy drops.. lol. too tired to kick.. and i realize also i need space to play the ball.. hmmm nvm, slowly improve.. havent been playing the bass though.. like no time.. too occupied doing everything else except that..

hmmm, tired i guess, been slacking for too long.. then work.. hahahaha body not use to it.

once again

2008-07-11T22:49:00.002+08:00

i think i have talked about this before.. about how people just dont have any basic respect for one another with regards to returning back a call or sms.. yeah i figured they are just so busy making money every 5 minute that the moment they stop whatever they are doing for just 1 sec, they make a USD 5000 lost in revenue.. im sorry.. go make your money ok?? i totally give up on this species..

look, personally, between me and everybody else reading this, i dont expect much.. i totally understand some people are just so busy that they forgot to get back to a certain someone with regards to someone.. but i believe THERE IS A LIMIT TO IT.. i mean, would you forget to get back to your boss if he/she calls you or look for you??

i dont expect a 1 hr conversation.. just like a min max?? hello hi? how are you? am i that transparent to you sort you know?? but yeah, if you didnt know, i cant even get that.. i guess, its too much to ask from some people.. people may argue, who am i to expect anything from them right?? well urmm, this isnt a stranger or some stalker.. this is friend to friend.. and like come mon, it isnt hard to return back a msg or call right?

never mind, forget it, i officially give up.

getting old

2008-07-10T22:52:00.002+08:00

im no longer built like i used to be.. living life with max 5 hrs sleep, people's problems, tonnes of paper work, the hot sun, sucky food and yet i still manage to trot on.. hahaha now, i find it hard to even be on time by 7 am at jurong east.. argh! either school has spoiled me of my freedom of life or or 1 mth worth of holiday was already enough to corrupt me to a point that is hard to fix.

hmmm, maybe give me another week or so and i get use to the jurong island life.. new things are never easy cos you got to adapt to the bigger picture and system so as to fit in nicely.. fortunately for me, i have chem eng background back in poly so yeah, not so bad ;) most of the things doesnt sound or look or feel foreign.. but i got to admit, after 2 years army and then 1 year of mat science, i got a tat rusty.. hahaha

you wait and see! i will try to be the playmaker of my work place.. hahaha ok, i need my sleep, night!

Heart and soul empty bottle

2008-07-08T21:16:00.001+08:00

Heart inspire

Have you ever feel the sinking feeling
No matter how much you’re struggling
Breathless and tired, body heaving
As you are leaving
It’s all you babe, I’m broken
It’s all because of you, the words unspoken
Hope that will never come
Fear that is always around
Hearts are dread and feelings go dead
Tormenting me as time goes by
Come and go, go and come by
Confuse as it seems maybe
The answer looks clear to me
Perhaps denial got the best of me
Never really wanting to give in
The hope and struggle just keeps coming in
There is no need to come to me
Or be with me
Just say the things Im hoping to see
Careless whispers, soft mumbling lips
Tell me, lie to me, hate me, love me
I just need that spark
That bit of fire or any small desire
Complete me and let the heart inspire

2008-07-06T12:19:00.001+08:00

*requested by "management" to pull it down.*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA finneeeeeee.. see im so nice to comply.=P

oooo my ding ding dong.. whatever that means. haha

angry

2008-07-01T23:59:00.002+08:00

is it wrong to be choosy? is it cos that individual is spoilt? too sheltered? never had a taste of the real life where options at times isnt an option? perhaps.. though i see no issue in being choosy.. i think its human nature to be choosy at things, certain things and for some people, at everything.. its all about wanting the best, wanting the want and wanting the need..

you want the best deals, you want the best offer, best prices, best quality, best best best.. or you want a blonde, 34-28-36, 1.7m, mixed portugese+chinese+indian and nothing else.. (that was randomly generated, it doesnt reflect what i want =P) or you want something with highest mileage with higher power torque speed and cheap??

people always tell me, the reason why im like this is cos im just choosy with people.. and they fault me for that, and they in some sense implied or how i see it as blaming me for it.. i mean, why can others be choosy about things and i cant? perhaps its a different level of choosiness and all but the same principle still apply right??

so please, let me have my moment of choosing, picking, let it be my food, my cpu fan, my bike, my shirt, my boots, my girl ;) or whatever lah.. =) in time, sooner or later, a choice will be made :D

girls

2008-06-27T00:59:00.003+08:00

ok.. i am the sort of guy whom if i see a motorbike and a hot girl pillion on it, i would first check out the bike, and then perhaps the girl.. why? i dont know why.. maybe im not like other guys, who check out girls before they do anything else?? perhaps, though i cant really say it applies to all guy.. i am not the sort of guy who goes to an IT show or something in equivalent and starts to oogle at all the show girls there are because i find some of the motherboards there are sexier :)

im not gay in anyway, and yes i do talk about girls, but its not exactly how i do it compared to others?? just now i chilled out with my guy friends and they talked nothing but bout girls, checking them out.. like hey this is pretty, that is ok, this is hot etc etc.. ok maybe i was just tired but i didnt really feel the whole deal of it..

hahahaha.. no offence to my guy friends, really, its normal to do just what they did but for me, i just dont really find any interest in it.. i see a hot girl, i look at her, i admire and appreciate such beauty and perhaps, just perhaps talk about it to someone later on.. that is me.. but that doesnt mean i wont chat a girl up ;) or hit on her or flirt with her ;) HAHAHAHA. that comes naturally =P well for some anyways..

so is it odd of me? or am i weird? perhaps, i doubt it, i would say im unique..weird is more like a freak and being unnatural in some sense.. unique is just being different.. nothing freaky bout that =)

shoes galore

2008-06-17T12:09:00.002+08:00

ok for those ladies who has a thing for shoes, my friend is selling them.. check it out
http://from-heels-to-toes.blogspot.com
quite cool customize unique shoes if you ask me.

you know

2008-06-10T10:10:00.002+08:00

you know you're a geek when you spend a good half an hour discussing about scientific calculator function and the difference between it and a financial calculator.. yes that's right, you just sit down with your friend and just talk about how this calculator can do differentiation and integration and solve you complex eqn, show you fraction etc etc. i discovered this on the casio fx 570ES which is legal in my school and some people may think, its just a calculator.. but trust me, an engineer without a calculator is either a mad genius or just handicapped :P

you know you're mad about biking when you daydream whenever you travel from point to point.. and you daydream about how it would be like riding on a new mtb down bukit timah hill...i cant get the images out of my head.. argh. and i havent even sell my current bike yet to buy a new one.. MUST BUY NEW BIKE!

you know you're trying to utilize time so much, everywhere you go, you bring your notes or text book or both in your bag so that you can read and revise so as to past time in the bus and train..i been doing that since last week and ok ah, there were times where it helped, there were times it didnt.. but every little bits help?? :D

you know you have an issue whenever you listen to your mp3 and you start playing the bass lines with your finger on your thigh and trying to catch the rhythm.. but i guess it helps me train my endurance on my hand and finger.. its actually quite tiring playing the bass.. though nothing can substitute playing the real thing =)

you know you need better time management when its the holidays and you can barely update your blog once a week.. hahahahaha ok lah, its the holidays, is there really a need to manage time? hahaha

friend

2008-06-03T18:47:00.002+08:00

helping a friend with some biznezzz so yeah,
http://www.shop-with-faith-preorders.blogspot.com/

this website sells like clothes from taiwan and korean, though im no fashionista so just check it out for yourself.. however its for girls ah, so ya, unless the guys wanna get something for the ladies ;)

im adding it to my list of links for future references.

funny

2008-05-29T12:10:00.002+08:00

its funny how even though im in my summer holidays, it takes me like nearly 2 weeks for me just to update my blog regularly.. maybe my summer class is proving to be quite a handful? its like 3 mths plus worth of information being squeezed into 1 mth, 2 lessons per week, 3 1/2 hrs per lesson.. its quite heavy if you ask me..

or it could be the fact that, i just wanna slack a little cos its the holidays and thus, i tend to just cover my studies in a shorter period within the week and it feels like im trying to cramp so much into my head.. and the rest of the slack time is use to SLACK!.. hahaha

or its just i just dont feel like doing anything most of the time.. which is true to some extent cos i dont know, i've been doing alot of stuff before the holidays came man.. so now just trying to find time for myself.TRYING.

certain things i should get started on:

1) operation bankai (already on the way but havent reach full swing). its an operation consisting of me getting into full action of my physical fitness training..pushing the boundary and of course, trying to add 5 kg into my lean frame..i give myself about a year or so and see the results.. so far its really hard.

2) operation meltdown. its an operation consisting of me, redoing up my out dated pc running on amd barton.. i need to do up the casing and rethink of its ventilation system so that i can push it further and make it faster.

3) operation missing trail. its an operation consisting of me selling my current hardtail bike and buying a new one..i have yet to post any ads on togoparts for buyers but so far, 2 of my friends might be interested. MIGHT BE. then i need to start looking for new bikes to replace it and that's it! i need something bigger and i dont mind it being heavier a tat.

4) operation pest control. its an operation consisting of me getting rid of all the snails that is in my freaking fish tank.. there is many of them, it will be a long process but yeah, i already bought the chemical, just need to use it soon enough.

5) operation foresight. its an operation consisting of me getting new prescription for my specs.. its been 2 and half years since i last did it.. perhaps get contacts for my sports activity.. perhaps.

6) operation solid thunder. its an operation consisting of me really getting it on with my bass..perhaps add some jamming sessions here and there, but yeah, scaling is important and building up my endurance playing the bass.. it may look easy to play, but it can be really tiring for the hand and arms.. REALLY TIRING. so ya.

so far, this is all i can think about..so yeah, its quite alot if you ask me.. hahaha

fantasia

2008-05-18T00:05:00.002+08:00

its funny how some people dread not being in any form of relationship cos life is just too lonely and boring and yet some other people loath the madness of being in one..ok like it or not, i think everybody would have known that in any form of r/s.. let it be gf/bf, husband/wife, teacher/student, instructor/trainee, friends.. THERE ARE FRICTIONS, they are issues.. and that is where, it separates the good ones from the not so good ones..

ok fine, i admit to those having the bad ones.. its easier said then done.. but seriously, tell me what is easier done then said? nothing? dont you agree? so suck it up man. between 2 parties and more.. there are r/s and there are give and takes.. you win some you lose some.. or you win win or you lose lose.. POINT IS, it doesnt matter which one it is, as long as you're happy with it, and the other party is, then well, things are much happier then eh?

there are no right/wrong/1 solution fit all for any r/s problems.. that i know for sure.. some stuff works for others some dont.. yes for some r/s there is the tyrant and the follower no spine no brainer.. then for some there is the compromise on everything (50/50) for both ends.. etc etc.. you get the drift. so ya, just be diplomatic and work things out.. if cannot, then ok, move on.. yes its hard, i know how that feels.. trust me.. but ya i guess its the only logical process..

ok till now suddenly i lost my train of thoughts.. ok yeah, you must be a ball.. bounce back.. i guess, life is like a bicycle ride.. at times its flat road, at times its a hill but remember after that high climb up, there is the gentle roll down =)

tamiyaaaa speedo raxer

2008-05-08T01:09:00.001+08:00

ANYONE WANNA CHALLENGE ME.. ok lah, race me with their tamiya car? i got no track though, its long gone but my tamiya still works! and since its the school holiday, why not eh? =D

bias

2008-05-03T23:56:00.003+08:00

people are bias. enough said.. some people always treat some other people better/worst as compared to those in general.. a good example would be a guy who treats his gf like she is everything and every other people whose with him as 2nd rated..why do i say this? because i have seen (still am) this happening.. yes, its true.. i think the issue is, (ok i cant actually say for the rest too) but issue is, im totally ok if there are things need settling between you and your gf or whoever for that matter..

but things are 1st come 1st serve basis.. well you got to treat it like that.. like A comes to you for something and you agree.. then B comes along.. you cant just simply throw A out just like that.. less its family, life/death, life ruining episodes and anything within these lines mention.. so of course if A ask you to follow go watch a movie but then B comes to you and say, your so and so is in the hospital losing a spleen, then yeah.. common sense dominates which to choose.. and i bet A would totally understand its and who knows, follow you too?

then there is the, come to an agreement/terms/promise..ok yes, its not on paper and no lawyers were around to witness it but yeah i think if you already come to an agreement with something, its just morally right to keep to it, less situations calls for something to be change.. 5 pm, but B made you stay till 8 cos cant decide what colour to get is definitely not it.. but if B made you stay till 8 cos so and so of B just got into the hospital and B is totally distraught and need a shoulder, then its ok.

so basically its these 2.. of course unlike some people, im quite use to the fact. its just how things are.. but others are not so forgiving? i mean, i guess, its totally ok, to treat others better but there are limit to how extreme it can get.. other people are still human beings with basic needs and rights..im not trying to be whiny cos im not whining.. im just letting know of what is going on and at times, sorry just dont really cut it for people..

so man, pls i know lurp is a powerful emotion and all, but at times, pls think with your head and ponder.. it wont be so nice if its vice versa. its quite straight forward why some are pissed off =)

2008-04-24T09:42:00.002+08:00

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

back in the days, when im booking into camp to spend the next days days in it, i play this song so as to make myself feel better.. its funny how when us humans feel like crap, we listen to songs about feeling crappy and it helps.. i dont know but if i were to video myself going back to camp, it make a perfect music video. there is that feeling of sadness no matter how many times you already did it before.. now, im singing it cos, i am burning inside.

work work

2008-04-21T00:23:00.004+08:00

while others hard at sleep
she is hard at work
by the counter with a smile
that makes every guy go wild
in that blue uniform, all clean and starchy
she look so appealing, oh so sexy
her name is nurul, nurul ass kickin
she kicks and pinch and even bite
watch out guys, cover your chest!
I know its tiring to do shifts
At night after 12 with nothing but the air con breeze
Im here babe, doing my report
While you are there, chopping passports
Changi air port is abit far
At least your dad drives you in his car
Have fun at work later
Don’t stop, don’t be a quitter
Success or failure is all up to you

something so random for my friend which i came up with 2 weeks ago.. hahaha though now she changed job already but i had to get it on my blog.. its like the only place i keep my "poems"

2008-04-19T09:41:00.002+08:00

i cant stop and notice that this whole human rights, anti china Olympics thing can really get out of hand.. President of IOC, Jacques Rogge mentioned that , yes this is a crisis.. personally for me.. its kinda amusing and sad at the same time.. why? cos like electrons, it shows the duality of human.. what do i mean by that??

first and foremost, i have participated in some kind of competition at least once during my lifetime and even though its a national level, principle behind it is still the same.. i guess its called sportsmanship.. i feel, sports is sports, politics is politics.. no matter what the issue is.. if people have issues with human rights policies one country has, i believe there are other ways of doing it.. the olympic isnt some 1 day event you can just simply say, hmm lets not partake in any of it for this year to get our msg across.. its like a major international event held every 4 years.. and some say started as early as 884BC..

i dont know bout you but it goes to tell me how much history this event has on humanity.. its like, you're watching a soccer match, you paid good money for it, and suddenly due to a referee decision, the other team decided to walk off from the match, causing a disqualification.. you will go WTF right?..time and time gain, i believe people has play some form of sports and there were times, you were tempted to throw tantrums or such and people has reminded you to be a sportsman and carry on..take it like a professional or something within those lines.. im not gonna take sides to who is right and wrong.. but yeah, dont get olympics involve man.. its gonna ruin everything for everybody..you wanna protest, fine, go ahead, do it via other means.. dont involve the olympics..

secondly, the nature of these protest.. how does these activist does it? trying to disrupt the olympic torch relay.. how? from what i see, by being violence towards the torch bearer who mind is just carrying out his/her responsibility as a honored olympic torch carrier.. how does the protesters does it? showing act of violence by burning China's flag and creating a lot of chaos in the protest.. cant you guys do it gently? its like telling others, im against bullies who beat up small school kids and you end up catching these bullies and beating them up for it..

thirdly, why are people bothered about the crime against humanities in tibet ONLY when there are many other places where seriously, it would also need the attention.. the palestinian/israel issue, iraq, AFRICA, bosnia etc.. perhaps the parties involve are different and the agenda are different, but still people are involved and worst still, people are dying.. innocent people died, dying, will die, someone they knew died..where are the activist for these then? isnt it not human right not to die? or at least given a choice to die or not.. imagine you wake up one day, saying i dont wanna die and before you know it a bomb lands in your room.. or saying you dont wanna die, but cos you havent eaten for 30 days, you die of undernourishment..

my views may seem unimportant, or 1 sided, or incorrect.. but point is, im just trying to highlight what i think and feel, the duality of human..

superman

2008-04-18T00:50:00.002+08:00

Out the door just in time
Head down the 405
Gotta meet the new boss by 8 am
The phone rings in the car
The wife is working hard
She's running late tonight again

Well
I know what I've been told
You gotta work to feed the soul
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman
no

You've got your love online
You think you're doing fine
But you're just plugged into the wall
And that deck of tarot cards
Won't get you very far
There ain't no hand to break your fall

Well
I know what I've been told
You gotta know just when to fold
But I can't do this all on my own
No, I know I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman
That's right

You've crossed the finish line
Won the race but lost your mind
Was it worth it after all
I need you here with me
Cause love is all we need
Just take a hold of the hand that breaks the fall

Well I know what I've been told
Gotta break free to break the mold
But I can't do this all on my own
No I can't do this all on my own
I know that I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman
I'm no Superman

Someday we'll be together
Somedaaay
Someday we'll be together
Somedaaay
I'm no Superman

yes, i admit, im no superman.. i was never super, i try though.. hope its enough for you.

it has begun

2008-04-16T00:17:00.002+08:00

ok, later at 9 am, will start the time to tell, if all my effort and smart assness of studying pays off.. hahahaha, best of luck to the rest who are taking their examination during this period, and good luck to those who are still preparing for what is to come..

my exam tip would be, stay cool and calm.. you think better clear headed :)

superman

2008-04-14T10:21:00.000+08:00

So here I am
Doing everything I can
Holding on to what I am
Pretending I'm a superman

power within

2008-04-11T23:55:00.001+08:00

this is meant for that someone i know. you know who you are ;)
sat down, thought of what i saw and just started doing it. tadaa!

Power within

Weak smile on her face
Beneath that awry surface
Lies strength of many that is carried by one
Though annoyed by pain and riddled with anger
She never let up, let me feel that hot burnt amber
Though tired and weak from the stuff of the day
She never fails to take it head on day by day
Study, work, assignment, projects
Presentation, meetings, lecture notes by the stacks
Awed at her will to work with panache
I admit I lose, no man or woman can match
Can never compete with such aggressive way
When this is all over you will look back
Over your shoulder, a reality check
All the suffering tubes, blood test and injection
All that now will make you into a tougher person
So don’t fret it with problems at hand
From what I see, you definitely can
Even if you need help, Im here to lend both hands
You know me, score point with you
Whenever I can =P
Things will forever change, no doubt about it
Go go go girl, you can do it!

Firnando torres

2008-04-05T23:52:00.002+08:00

ok here is my new pair of boots :D to date, most expensive footwear i ever bought with my own money hahaha.. and it was on like discount, got it at about 25 bucks cheaper pricing.. ok perhaps my army boots is more expensive but i used credits to buy them :P

now i can allegedly shoot better with more power and accuracy :P yeah, allegedly ah.. its kinda more of a bane to wash it after a game cos must take even extra care of it due to the amount of money i paid for it! but its synthetic leather and all, so not so bad.. quite light too and it looks nice man. hahaha ok i admit it, since the day i saw it and touched it, i had always wanted to get it.. among all the more high end boots i wanted, it was no 1 cos its just so much more affordable to me..

if i had more money, i would just go for like predator power swerve or what.. but im not a nike fan.. its too mainstream for me.. adidas too but the rest like lotto, topper, umbro.. it was either too ex > 150 bucks and above, dont have in my size, or just doesnt suit my needs.. thus ---> total 90 shoot :D

if i had money.. lol, i dont know, i buy them all? hahahaha

insomnia

2008-04-01T07:44:00.002+08:00

as times goes by, i feel im having issues sleeping.. in school i get tired easily after classes and by 6 plus, i feel like sleeping.. by the time i reach home, i wont be able to sleep..cos if i sleep by then, it would be throughout the entire night and thus with a cup of coffee and such, i push on.. however, by around 1-2 am when im already suppose to sleep, it be harder for me to sleep..

lie on my bed, tossing and turning in the space that's too small. hahaha ok that's just a song but yeah, i find it harder to fall to sleep.. and then in the morning when im to wake up, either A) i wake up feeling like i never sleep at all, B) i wake up earlier then expected cos i cant sleep cos of my stomach feels gastric is coming, C) i wake up for 5 mins with the hugest headache and only to sleep back for another 30-60 mins more and be late for whatever =D.

honestly speaking, i have never actually experience such experience in army where i had the most least, most awkward, most shittiest sleeping routine.. maybe all that bad sleeping routine which was required in the army especially as a commander, all the way till now, has reached its point and im just experiencing saturation? lol

or or the fact that, i actually tried cutting down on coffee and i have tea O in the morning instead cos the gastric attacks i get sometime is just too much for me to take. acid reflux, reflux acid.. bleuk.

cheap booooots

2008-03-24T01:37:00.004+08:00

that is what happend, when you buy cheap boots, play like crazy for 2 mths under rain and shine on soccer fields you can call padi field at times and then for the next 3 mths, play soccer regularly but now its on a pitch that is basically half sand..yeah man, ok ah, the topper served its purpose and that was for ISG.. that was why i bought it cheap.. didnt expect myself to play soccer regulary once ISG ended..

thus 1 fine day, went to fico to play on astro turf and that practically killed my boots..just after an hr and 30 mins playing, i felt something weird happend to my boots.. it was wobbly.. and yeah, my sole was torn out from the main body..didnt know my feet can exert so much stress on it.. hahaha

it was a decent boot, for shooting and crossing.. but running was abit of a bane cos the soles cant really flex.. now its gone, for good.. hahaha good bye.. got to admit, gonna miss its colour.. kinda suits me =)

mat science eng kid

2008-03-20T00:08:00.002+08:00

ok, it seems quite a number of the people i know doesnt really know about material science and engineering and that such course exist.. let me take this opportunity to briefly define it..ok here we go.. basically its like a guy, who study the science part of things and materials and trying to put that into real good and useful applications..

in a sense, its like a physist, chemist and engineer roll into 1? a physist cos we do handle stuff in the quantum level with regards to kinetics, electrons, molucular and even smaller stuff, crystal arrangement etc etc.. its all in the electrons man.. and yeah, physics physics, the statics and mechanics of structures and materials..

a chemist cos, we do learn about the chemical part of things, like polymer and its synthesis, reactions of stuff like in fuel cells, batteries, if you add hydrogen to oxygen, what do you get?? MRI, the study of chemical bonds, ionic bonds, covalent etc etc..

then engineer, of course, engineering math is one.. and yeah making materials and such for useful application like heart stem, computer chips, biodegradeable plastic, clean energy, water, etc etc.. i dare to say, there is nothing that doesnt need a material engineer.. sit down and think about it.. from the pen you use, to the keyboard you typing on, to the clothes you wear, to the power you get from the plug.. all linked to materials =)

choices

2008-03-17T01:02:00.002+08:00

how do you choose which one you want? colour? shape? cost? functionality? brand?

its easy if its an object or a material, you intend to purchase, from a bike to a guitar.. its easy.. you touch touch, feel feel, and use it.. see if it goes well with you, then its yours.. of course assuming you have the money to buy it in the first place..

now imagine, if its a person.. and things isnt as straight forward eh? colour???? shape???? cost!??!?!?! hahaha.. ok maybe for some people, that factors still apply, but i see that more of as preference rather then requirements.. i believe that given time, people can grow into other people and things just happen.. even if that person is not your colour, shape cost requirement..

some people or times, there is no liberty to choose the people you want.. in army, at the work place.. your buddies are generally random and it makes life easier sometimes.. cos you are given no choice and is force to accept whoever..options drives people nuts, well it drives me nuts that's for sure.. =)

i guess, choosing is somewhat, a mental process that goes conscious and sub consciously.. unfortunately, my brains wants all choices.. HAHAHAHA. night

shag week

2008-03-14T07:20:00.002+08:00

this week is really shag week man.. why? cos everyday i went home from school damn late..and it doesnt really help that, its like raining and its cold most of the time.. when its cold, more energy needed to maintain body temperature and that means you need to eat more to keep warm..

fortunately i have a jacket but even that, it is still cold.. like cold cold man.. the lecture theater is like 10C and the tutorial room is -10C.. problem is, the day always started hot or going to be hot.. and it just get cold to really cold by the end of the day, and yeah..

its somewhat like my field camp days back in army.. hot during the day, and rain at night whenever im on duty.. then i wont be able to sleep and freeze my wet ass off.. hahahaha those were the good ol days! its amazing how i survive such living condition.. and today of all days, suppose to have soccer at 9.45 pm.. assuming i can finish my project work on time.. yesterday, it dragged till after 10.30 pm and i reached home an hour after that.. it was like wow!

its gonna be really shag today, so shag, its shag..fortunately soccer is nearby at fico. but we see how ah.. the sword hanging on my wall cant exactly give me the boost i need even though i suffered like hell for 9 mths for it, and another good 1 year suffering countless unsocial tired schedule proving to others that i deserve that sword..

but looking at it now, reminds me that, there was once a time back then where impossible is nothing and nothing is impossible.. all you need to do is just do it.. HAHAHA. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

remedy

2008-03-10T01:36:00.002+08:00

somehow at times, the best remedy is just to succumb to your own weakness or issues.. like for example, if you're tired and need some sleep, maybe the best choice is just to sleep and rest.. there is no point in drinking a jug of coffee, 3 cans of red bull or eat a basket full of green apple..

if its itchy, scratch it, if its hot, cool it, if its cold, heat it.. but then again, its not as easy as that i suppose because we all know that, there are just certain things you got to do no matter what.. certain things can wait but others cant.. so i guess be the judge, and decide what is best for you..

remember, sometimes, the best thing isnt always the right thing, the right thing maybe the wrong thing and the ideal things may not be the realistic things.. play around with it, and have a nice week ahead. ZZZZZZZ

what you need is what you want

2008-03-08T12:48:00.003+08:00

"you reap what you sow" or so the saying goes that in a sense, you put in rubbish, you cant expect to get gold out of it =) unless the rubbish is old old computer hardware parts with gold plated in every single electrical connection it has, then hahaha, it might just be the case ;)

anyway.. yeah, the whole saying is just you get what you deserve.. but really, in life, in real life reality, is that always the case? i beg to differ.. cos think about it, the reward, the end product, well the things you want in return is kind of definitive and it changes from person to person.. for example, a guy cheats on his gf, and end up, his gf dumps him for another guy who is richer and everything else better..

so he was asking for it, but for him, he be like ok, whatever and moves on.. find other girls =).. or or, a girl helps an old aunty carry her groceries into a taxi and in the process, lost her purse, and that's it.. she be cursing the entire day, no money, no nothing, inconvenience at its best. or or a kid studied so hard with all his/her effort for the exams..teachers said confirm A A A A A but the kid fall sick on the actual exam day itself and yeah, due to the illness cant really focus and think well, and screws up.. didnt fail but were able to achieve the best results..

in life, shit happens, and flowers (opposite of shit) happen.. besides, i believe, there is only so much you can control and decide.. its like the weather.. so in a sense, reap what you sow, get what you deserve doesnt really apply does it? the guy who cheats on the girls may think getting dump by the ladies is totally normal, the girl who lost the purse may just find it a stroke of fate and its ok, she accepts it, hoping in the future she be more careful and who knows, what destiny awaits for her,, and for the kid, shit just happens and they happen.

of course, that does not mean you should just sit back and ride along the wave of uncertainty cos though there is so much you can control and decide, its at least something.. why choose to lose 10-0 to a team when you can stand your ground and lose 10-9.. yes lose is still lose, but you feel much better man..

my take on the saying is this..its to make ppl work for the things they want and not just sit on their arses all day long praying and hoping.. god only help those who help themselves.. so yeah, go figure

it

2008-03-04T00:40:00.001+08:00

if you're not willing to wait, don't wait just go
if you are willing to wait, then wait
if it is worth the wait
it is worth waiting for it
if it is not, then forget it
if need is want and want is need
dont sit on it, do it.
it might be stupid
but have fun at it.

ronin

2008-03-01T16:26:00.001+08:00

[Neo] | Proj. 692^2 | The limit of human tolerance says:
you're emodaus. wandering the paths of time like a ronin looking for love.
[Neo] | Proj. 692^2 | The limit of human tolerance says:
lol whatever that means

that sounded cool yet gay at the same time... hahaha.. what kind of samurai looking for love? =)

dying

2008-02-29T19:19:00.002+08:00

so, im in school on a friday night, studying for my incoming quiz next week.. electronics and magnetic property of material and polymers and composites..life cant get as depressing as this sometime.. ok maybe it can be worst, if i was stuck in camp doing AIs or paperwork and trudging back home would mean tomorrow afternoon and it be a 2 hr journey.. hahaha

yeah, actually i already feel like stop doing whatever im doing and just go off.. but to where? that is the question.. i feel like chilling to a cup of coffee/tea but yeah, its hard to do it when the only person you have right now is yourself..none the less, life goes on for you and me... it be easier for me if currently i have reports/projects/assignment to type out.. then i can be a poser..

go coffee bean, buy a cup and sip latte while i type stuff and make it look cool.. hahaha ok i watched tooo many movies man... or i can just go home, eat whatever there is, and strategize on CNC3.. its been more than 2 weeks since i played it..

or or, i can just, i have no idea what to do now... BORED. how i wish my bass is with me now with the amps and all.. then i can plug her in and play man.. no one is in my lab anyway, so yeah, what do i care? =)

rambo john

2008-02-29T00:15:00.002+08:00

this is the exact conversation i copy and paste =)
abang rambo is of course, yours truly, me hahaha

"fadhil says:
whose rambo and johnny...seems like a nice chap
Ghanim/Zeph- Read: Arrow-Odd .. 181004 says:
firdaus is my 'superior' in the army, we call him abang rambo
Ghanim/Zeph- Read: Arrow-Odd .. 181004 says:
gung ho and crazy nut"

hahaha that really made me smile =)

wining/losing

2008-02-23T01:16:00.003+08:00

in life, there are winners and there are losers.. or is there really? or is it just a gimmick for people to tell themselves and others that, its ok, dont cry there are other day to get what you want.. cos think about it..

in life, there are always going to be people better than you, always achieving more than you, in 1 way or the other.. and yeah, this means you are going to lose.. but then again, you win something too..win something in a sense you had some take away from the whole event..

you lose a soccer match 2-1.. yes you lose. but you gain more experience and you realize that more work needs done along the centre and your flanks must be able to run faster.. so yeah from there, your take away of those lessons learnt and improve on it.. then of course if your team won 2-1, you tend to be more complacent or just choose to ignore things and take it that there isnt much to improve in the team and you dont exactly learn anything crucial..

and that is when you get beaten by a better team and you asked yourself, what happened? im not exactly sure but i think in general, everybody lose all the time.. why did he choose to take train instead of the bus? so that he would unkowingly able to avoid an accident that came upon the bus but if he had taken the bus instead, that accident would introduce him to this stranger girl whom he would fall in love with..or she was suppose to submit her report today but decided to submit it the day after cos dateline was the day after and she will have time to edit it and make it better.. but end up, her data got corrupted and has to redo all over again..

but you see, in all these situations and scenarios, you are able to learnt something from it and have what i call a take away..of course, lesson learnt are definitive by nature and some ppl see it from a different angle, but at least, its something to take away. something to bring back and remember and use that knowledge for future use.. like, backing up your report etc.. my pt is, no matter what you do, you still end up losing something but overall, if you're able to see the bigger picture, you won something and that's what important.

wants me

2008-02-16T01:06:00.002+08:00

suddenly when everybody wants a piece of you, you just crumble and fall..a single man cant bear the weight of everyone on his/her shoulders.. and thus, you cant exactly make everybody happy.. you can only do so much for them and in the end, its all up to them anyway..

you spend so much time on others, you tend to neglect yourself.. sometimes its not that you forget about yourself, but you just cant really find that time for yourself.. time for yourself in a sense, an opportunity to actually decide and do something on your behalf and no one else..

it need not be quiet time or what , but its something you will decide purely by yourself... why go to boat quay tomorrow cos you wanted too and chill.. not because your friends want to be there or cos 3 different people tries to meet up with you for dinner tomorrow and you decide to go for all 3..

tired man. sleep is the way to go. let these people wait, and rest yourself for you need the energy for tomorrow while today is still today..

wake up

2008-02-11T08:00:00.000+08:00

yay! im awake and gonna be on time for monday's tutorial class! the trick is not to do anything physically and mentally exhausting the day before..ok, maybe a 7 km run is abit exhausting but i slept earlier at 1 am.. ok maybe it wasnt too early.. ok fine, i guess the trick was to put my phone on my desk, instead of on the bed =P

if its by my pillow when i sleep, tendency of me sub consciously reaching for it and turning the alarm off is higher..when its on my desk, i have to wake up, rise up, walk to the desk, reach for it and turn it off.. that wont be sub consciously =)

anyway i spilled like 5 spoonfuls of sugar just while trying to make tea half awake.. mum is gonna come after me man.. ahhh! nvm i swept the floor already but to be thorough, ask my sis to mop it later once she is awake.. hehehe. ok gtg.. cant type when im half asleep..

late

2008-02-11T00:52:00.001+08:00

thou, or is it thy? me is thy i think.. hmmm

ok whatever.. thou/thy shou not be late for class tomorrow!!!!

butakah cinta

2008-02-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

Never before I ponder
I can't never understand
The anxiety of the soul on my chest
I fall in love and I missed without any proof
How will it be in the future?
Will I be able to taste the love?
Please do not be sad
Get rid of the clouds in those eyes
The scorching sun doesn’t bother me
I will not move
For 1000 years I will be there, loyal
And forget about troubles of the past
Make a new beginning right here and now

tiredly energetic

2008-02-05T01:14:00.000+08:00

its funny..those who can sleep choose not to sleep less they are tired or in need of it.. those who cant sleep just want to sleep even if they know they cant afford to sleep.. when you are able to sleep earlier & longer, you chose not too, and when you are needed to sleep later & shorter, you tend not to want it.. sleep is what we defined as a state of bodily rest where the entire body just switched to sleep mode * no pun intended* hahahaha and just rejuvenate itself in whatever ways it can and should..

one can say i its essential for the well being and the survival of one's individual..(once i got sleep deprived and it was soo physically exhausting, i saw white elephants in front of me) clear sign of hallucinations are i think generally a sure way to say you need more rest and sleep.. =P

though there are the other case where people overall, just have too much sleep.. too little and you feel lethargic & too much of it, well you still feel lethargic.. headache, drowsiness, heaviness.. why? i dont know, im not brain doctor.. but i do know the worst feeling to get if you over sleep is the sense of guilt and crappiness that you just wasted precious time sleeping..

hahaha that feeling eats you, like like a lighted cigarette man.. i never like wasting time sleeping.. unless of course, i have time to waste.. but usually, its never the case sadly.. hahaha.. everday i sleep for a maximum time of 6 hrs, even on weekend.. i wanna sleep abit more =) at least to get rid of the freaking eyebags and shadow on my face.. =)

a sure sign that i need it?? i overslept again just now.. so yeah. WAKE UP WAKE UP HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

superman

2008-01-29T22:07:00.000+08:00

you are my kryptonite...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *grows weaker*--> *dies*

I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind
I left my body laying somewhere in the sands of time
I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah

I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something to do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head
If not for me then you would be dead
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

Yeah!

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

sorry sorry

2008-01-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

ok 26 january 2008 i had a blog. ok for the record it isnt about somebody i know.

bang

2008-01-28T07:46:00.000+08:00

this past few weeks..i have been hooked by bob marley.. maybe cos my barber i just cut my hair from is abang bob marley.. hahaha..that's not his real name btw, its just that he sooo reminds me of bob with the hair and all.. even his shop is so rastafarian =)too bad, weed is bad for you.. and bob is dead...

wait and bleed

2008-01-26T01:41:00.000+08:00

ok.. in the army, if you went missng and fail to report on time.. its considered as awol.. meaning, Abscenece Without Offical Leave.. meaning you will be screwed.. so for example, you're suppose to book in today, but you didnt and they cant get a hold of you via hp or home phone or whatever lah.. AWOL man.. simple as that..

but of course, in the outside world, normal people dont get charged just like that.. and honestly i think this habit is freaking rampant that it is pissing me off.. 5 cents worth of sms, 10 secs worth of outgoing call, a 1 sentence email, a 5 words friendster msg.. anything is all it takes to do it.. and yet, some people choose not to do it.. is it out of convinience? or is it out of habit? or is it out of attitude?

i dont know that answer.. all i know that, like what i mentioned earlier in one of my entries, in this time and age and technology, its a shame man.. to be honest, i have no idea what to say really.. being adults or young adults no longer dictates that you should be responsible to some point.. cos i think if there is a law on this and people can get arrested, no one dares to do it..

personally, im just hoping ppl come to me for something/help or what and i just ignore them =) and fullstop.. there is alot of anger.

for the girl

2008-01-22T14:47:00.000+08:00

For the girl

The girl next door
Don’t know I exist
Messy hair, thick frames
Body thinner than her sis
Sometimes its hello
Sometimes it’s hey
What I want to say
Are you free this Saturday?
To take you out
Just the 2 of us away from the crowds
But it’s so hard to get hold of you
Not always around & always busy
With the others guys
Oh the jealousy
I got your number
It is in my phone
You never call back
Not even a single freaking tone
Friends say forget it
I say I will prove it
Till the heart broken
Bleed, dried & forsaken
For the girl
Sending me into a whirl
Don’t know I exist
How I wish those lips will kiss

20 minutes to get it all stringed up..=P

inconsiderate

2008-01-21T22:21:00.000+08:00

today, SMRT had to disrupt train service from Tanah Merah to Pasir Ris..why? cos a maintenance train broke down between Simei and Tampines...SMRT did the necessary damage control action and activated the shuttle service.. still services were slow.. allegely on the news, it took 45 mins to travel from pasir ris to tanah merah..

i managed to saw a few comments of public users being interviewed...its kinda sad that singaporeans are just soo singaporeans to complain..well ok, my trip to school wasnt affected by that so i wont exactly know how it was like.. and i guess the whole damage control could have been better handled instead of keeping public users in the dark..

but think about it for just a sec..57000 users were affected...i think to actually rectify a problem that affected 57000 people isnt easy man.. so kudos to SMRT anyway.. however just think about it again for a sec..

how many people were actually sooo depended on the train itself and that how we, us, take it for granted day in day out, till when? till something happen and it breaks down and people start complaining.. hahahaha, humans.. no one ever commented on how smooth the train rides were like every other time it didnt cock up.. maybe there were but i assume it to be negligible.. i mean, i confess, sometimes i go like, "ah damn no seats!!" and i didnt go "yay, train is here, can reach my destination for sure"

yeah get the drift? which brings me to the next thing.. i guess people mostly, generally were never appreciated of what they have till its taken away from them... let it be on the dot train services, the coffee on the table or the families at home.. so yeah, pls, take some time to appreciate it..

i managed to realize part of this when i was in the army.. families and friends, very important.. so yup. =) have a nice day.

thanks

2008-01-12T00:52:00.001+08:00

ok i would like to thank once again to those that attended my allege surprised birthday dinner thing..even though you guys were late for the actual surprised and end up losing that element of surprised.. i totally appreciated it ;) really i do..

all that food and stuff.. soooooo niceeeeeeeeeee. 23 already now.. but too tired to talk.. gonna sleep =) later will cont.

reboots

2008-01-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

once again school reopens from a nice 1 mth long vacation...it proved to be much of a reprieve for me from all the work and what nots i've been doing since the day i enlisted into the service... yeah, its like those much anticipated desert rain you have every 10 years :P ok maybe it wasnt that bad but yeah, you get the idea..

now, i have to start all over again the sleepless night cycle.. where my life seems to revolve around school work and rest and whatever time there is left to whatever i want/ need to do.. oh well, life goes on, i must go on still.. =P but i hope im in the correct & best state of mind to go on with what i must do..

past few days, i just feel mess up with how things are going or not going..its nothing specific i guess but the whole idea hitting 23 in 7 days time and yet you feel more needs to be done and yet so little time.. or the feeling of not having a single bite on your hook can really mess you up...but that's figuratively speaking..

i guess i did too much of people studying in the train and such.. where i realize people are either couples, busy smsing/talking to someone on the phone or just simply enjoying the presence of their companies by their side.. while there i was soo engrossed in studying others and it goes to show how lonely it can be on the train.. hahaha

anyway i feel refreshed now to somewhat agitated.. not doing anything or just bumming around for nearly a mth, can really drive me crazy but it wasnt that bad but still, i could sense the restlessness creeping into my soul.. like weed on concrete pavement.. but that be over tomorrow and give myself 3 weeks average before i start hoping for the holiday to come once again and do nothing but slack =)

humans.. never ever satisfied..

in my place

2008-01-05T16:27:00.000+08:00

coldplay - in my place

In my place, in my place were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost,Oh yeah
I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost,Oh yeah

Yeah,How long must you wait for it?
Yeah,How long must you pay for it?
Yeah,How long must you wait for it?
Oh for it

I was scared, I was scared
Tired and under prepared
But I’ll wait for it
If you go, if you go
Leave me down here on my own
then I’ll wait for you (yeah)

Yeah, How long must you wait for it?
Yeah,How long must you pay for it?
Yeah,How long must you wait for it?
Oh for it.

Singing
Please, please, please
come back and sing to me
to me, me
Come on and sing it out,
Now, Now
Come on and sing it out,
To me, me
come back and sing

In my place, in my place
were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah
Oh yeah.......

what've i done

2008-01-01T23:43:00.000+08:00

people asked me, what is my biggest disappointment of 2007.. so i sat down and gave it a thought.. and interesting enough, i couldnt really find or think of one... its like, everything was ok or not so bad, or it was good for me.. i guess, i was quite in content with what i had last year.. and i guess i am the sot of person who is able to be content with simple stuff in life..

its funny though if you think about it.. how can someone who is always easily content with things can actually be successful or push on to go ahead further and better..cos there isnt much motivation to achieve something... like "haiya no need to go to that extend, what i am now, is good enough for me" so yeah..

and yet, im always trying to aim for the best of my very ability.. exam results, run timings, cycling distance etc etc.. i guess its all about giving your 100% and yet appreciate or be grateful of what you have.. cos if you dont appreciate the simpler things, you wont appreciate the finer things.. right>? if you never draw eng drawings on a paper with a ruler and pencil before, you wont really appreciate the ease of drawing using autocads..

oh well.

2007-2008

2008-01-01T03:19:00.001+08:00

2007 ends.. 2008 begins..
the alpha and the omega..
Happy New Year =)

telecommunication

2007-12-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

ok its like the 21st century... gone are the old days of having the only means of communication is drumming between tribes, or pigeons, or telegraph lines and such.. now its more than just telephone lines, power lines, fiber optic lines.. its satellite, infrared, radio waves, microwaves and such.. meaning, communicating among one another is no longer a weekly affair but in fact, a daily sometimes to some extend a hourly, a minutely affair..

press of a button on your cellie and you have your mum on the other line nagging at you to come back home for dinner.. now specially on the topic of cellphone or handphones..well ppl call/ sms you.. you sms/call ppl.. now the qn in mind is, let say, a msg or a missed call.. to reply back to them, is it an entitlement or a priviledge for the sender?

meaning what? meaning if let say, person A send a sms/ called but missed called to a person B, is it an entitlement or a privilege of person A for person B to reply back the sms or call back A.. entitlement means, its a must..person A has all the rights to get a sms back or a call back.. the fact that it is NOT DIFFICULT at all to do just that, there shouldnt be any excuse..a sms is like 5 cents if not free, a call if its not part of the free outgoing, would last you like the most 30 secs with a "hey sorry cant talk right now, sorry, later etc"

of course, privilege means, its not a must.. whether person A get any response from B, is entirely up to B to decide.. sometime can sometime cannot.why?? cos its every individual freedom rights if he or she wants to get back to you or not.. you can bring the water to the horse, but whether it will drink is another issue..and i guess to some extend it will feedback to person A how B sees A.. if never get anything at all, then yeah, A is just someone not worth the time as of yet to B. if B do reply back, that means A is someone to B.. in a crude sense i guess..

anyways, in either ways, its a pretty good argument which i cant really decide on.. cos sometimes i do the first one, sometimes i do the second one.. hahaha depending on whether i remembered to reply back.. its not that i do it on purpose if i dont get back to the person! really!but i think im gonna go for the first one.. that it is an entitlement to get at least a wassup reply from whoever you trying to contact..

cos its a shame in this time and age, if its just too hard to get back to someone..